I am behind on my Meeting Authors news. Erin Hunter came to The King’s English bookshop and Jaelyn, my 16-year-old, also came as she is the big Erin Hunter fan in the house. It turns out Erin Hunter is a team of writers, and the one who came was a Scottish lady named Gillian Philip. She was very entertaining and funny and was great at interacting with the young fans. I bought Jaelyn the first Warriors book before her presentation and then the first Bravelands book after, and we got those signed. The great thing about The King’s English is that book signing lines are never long, no matter how famous the author. I was unable to leave the bookstore without buying books for myself.
In the 1800s, academics believed Latin was perfect and English needed to be more like Latin, and so some Latin grammar rules were imposed on English. From a linguistic and practical point of view, this was ridiculous. Here are two of those fake rules that must be ignored for English to fully be itself.
You can’t put a preposition at the end of a sentence
Why not? Because it’s impossible in Latin and other Romance languages. In English, it’s a piece of cake. I want to know which box it’s in. Where are you from? Pick the one above. Just imagine the awkwardness created in trying to avoid ending the sentences with prepositions: I want to know in which box it is. From where are you? Pick the one that is above the others.
You can’t split infinitives
Again, this is impossible to do in Romance languages but easy in English. I want you to always remember me. I told you to not do that. You need to badly see a doctor. (The infinitives are to remember, to do, to see.) Languages come with their own laws that native speakers naturally acquire. Stop trying to override nature and shackle our language, 19th-century snobs.
☆☆☆ Science Fiction — Post-Apocalyptic/Dystopian It’s hard to classify this one. It feels the most like a post-apocalyptic story, but that’s not exactly what it is. It’s Tom Sawyer meets Maze Runner with a dash of Hunger Games, at least in the feel of it. It is expertly written. The world-building is great with important elements introduced naturally; no info-dumping. The pacing is solid, though the book is non-stop running from bad guys. It’s in first person present tense, which I hate, yet it didn’t bother me at all in this case. The author pulled it off, and it worked. Our protagonist, Todd, is looking forward to being a Man when he turns 13. He is very pig-headed, which sometimes is a good thing and sometimes works against him. The author was skilled at using this character. Because Todd is so pig-headed, it takes 80 percent of the book to find out what the Big Secret is. This is partly because he refuses to hear it or refuses to ask, but also because whenever someone starts talking about it, they get shot at or have some other big interruption. Getting information out of this story is like pulling teeth with just your thumbs.
The book includes the trope that religious = crazy/homicidal. It’s not as bad as some other stories, but it’s there, and it’s getting old. The villain is a Crazy Homicidal Religious Nut (TM) who refuses to die. Something kills him … … again … … and again … … until you’re like … And when you realize that’s the WHOLE PLOT, it starts to drag. There’s a dog in the story. If you need to know whether the dog survives, I reveal it at the very end here.
I have to confess, I’m really not a dog person. I’m sorry. I only like dogs that have been trained to not bark 24/7, so that’s about 5 percent of all dogs. The dog here is extremely annoying, and I quickly began rooting for his death. Todd should have smacked him a lot more, and harder. At one point in the story, Todd throws his book away. I was anxiously waiting for him to pick it up again, but he never does, and then it suddenly appears in his pack again. Did I miss something? I was listening very carefully. How did he get his book back? I never felt emotionally connected to the characters. I sort of related to Todd, and that’s about it. And I hated the dog! The book ends on a big cliffhanger. No single plotline is resolved here; there is no self-contained story. So you have to commit to the trilogy before beginning. The book is well done on all levels. I liked it despite my issues with it. The audio narration is nicely done and uses audio effects to portray some of the Noise scenes. Todd uses the word “effing” a lot and will sometimes say he said the actual word, but the actual word is also said plainly several times. Violence is graphic at times. Spoiler ahead … The dog dies.
If you are full of pride, you are proud. This prideful thing is unnecessary and longer to say.
Nauseating
I can understand this one. Nauseous means nauseating (to induce nausea). However, it often gets used to mean nauseated. So when you hear someone say nauseous, you’re unsure whether they really know what they’re talking about. I suggest sticking to nauseous as much as possible.
Reoccur
Yep, the rule is to add re- to a word to mean do it again. However, occur already has a word for “occur again.” Recur. Save a syllable.
Orientated
Whoa, what happened to orient? It’s a great word. Orient is a verb, oriented is the adjective, and that’s all you need here.
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Are there any others you can think of? I’ll add them to the list.
Books are a great medium for dialogue. Deep conversations, arguments, banter, and scheming between characters make books engrossing. Do not fear long conversations. Let’s look at “decorating” the dialogue: “Hi there,” she said. “Hello,” he said. “How’s it going?” she asked. “Pretty well,” he said. “How about you?” “Just fine. How is your grandmother doing?” she said. “Better, I think. Thanks for asking,” he said. First of all, there’s nothing wrong with said. It’s invisible. It’s neutral. If you go out of your way to avoid it (using instead commented, replied, queried, etc.), you will draw attention to the dialogue tags and away from the dialogue itself. Second of all, the dialogue runs smoother when the dialogue tag comes after the first sentence of dialogue instead of at the end of several (or many) sentences of speech. “Pretty well,” he said. “How about you?” Better! “Just fine. How is your grandmother doing?” she said. Meh You don’t need a dialogue tag every time, of course, if just two people are talking: “Hi there.” “Hello.” “How’s it going?” “Pretty well. How about you?” “Just fine. How is your grandmother doing?” “Better, I think. Thanks for asking.” After a few lines, though, the reader loses track of who’s talking when. You can solve this problem and the problem of too many dialogue tags by interspersing some simple action. “Hi there.” She paused in her walk. “Hello,” he said. “How’s it going?” She began tapping her foot nervously. “Pretty well.” He glanced up from his feet. “How about you?” “Just fine,” she nodded. There was an awkward pause. “How is your grandmother doing?” “Better, I think. Thanks for asking.” He gave a small smile. That’s rather overkill, but it gives you the general idea. Note how just a bit of action made the boring dialogue more interesting. Any questions or comments so far?
Eats, Shoots, & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation by Lynne Truss
☆☆☆☆ Nonfiction If you lament the illiteracy of the world, you can commiserate with this book. Here you will find sympathy for the pain of abused punctuation. For any true stickler, you see, the sight of the plural word “Book’s” with an apostrophe in it will trigger a ghastly private emotional process similar to the stages of bereavement, though greatly accelerated. First there is shock. Within seconds, shock gives way to disbelief, disbelief to pain, and pain to anger. Finally (and this is where the analogy breaks down), anger gives way to a righteous urge to perpetrate an act of criminal damage with the aid of a permanent marker. It’s short book written by a Briton, filled with humor but also concise rules of punctuation. She also addresses American punctuation, which is slightly different. I knew about these rules but hadn’t known some marks have different names. Highly recommended for any writer, editor, or grammar nazi.
We read privately, mentally listening to the writer’s voice and translating the writer’s thoughts. The book remains static and fixed; the reader journeys through it. Picking up the book in the first place entails an active pursuit of understanding. Holding the book, we are aware of posterity and continuity. Knowing that the printed word is always edited, typeset and proof-read before it reaches us, we appreciate its literary authority. Having paid money for it (often), we have a sense of investment and a pride of ownership, not to mention a feeling of general virtue.
