Writing Advice: Dialogue

Books are a great medium for dialogue. Deep conversations, arguments, banter, and scheming between characters make books engrossing. Do not fear long conversations. Let’s look at “decorating” the dialogue:

“Hi there,” she said.
“Hello,” he said.
“How’s it going?” she asked.
“Pretty well,” he said. “How about you?”
“Just fine. How is your grandmother doing?” she said.
“Better, I think. Thanks for asking,” he said.

First of all, there’s nothing wrong with said. It’s invisible. It’s neutral. If you go out of your way to avoid it (using instead commented, replied, queried, etc.), you will draw attention to the dialogue tags and away from the dialogue itself.

Second of all, the dialogue runs smoother when the dialogue tag comes after the first sentence of dialogue instead of at the end of several (or many) sentences of speech.

“Pretty well,” he said. “How about you?”  Better!
“Just fine. How is your grandmother doing?” she said.  Meh

You don’t need a dialogue tag every time, of course, if just two people are talking:

“Hi there.”
“Hello.”
“How’s it going?”
“Pretty well. How about you?”
“Just fine. How is your grandmother doing?”
“Better, I think. Thanks for asking.”

After a few lines, though, the reader loses track of who’s talking when. You can solve this problem and the problem of too many dialogue tags by interspersing some simple action.

“Hi there.” She paused in her walk.
“Hello,” he said.
“How’s it going?” She began tapping her foot nervously.
“Pretty well.” He glanced up from his feet. “How about you?” 
“Just fine,” she nodded. There was an awkward pause. “How is your grandmother doing?”
“Better, I think. Thanks for asking.” He gave a small smile.

That’s rather overkill, but it gives you the general idea. Note how just a bit of action made the boring dialogue more interesting.

Any questions or comments so far?